Building Self-Esteem through Helping Others

We all need to feel capable, significant and worthy, and know that others recognize and value our worth.  That's self-esteem and that's what we want for our children.  But self-esteem is not something that can be taught in a classroom or workshop.  Neither will praise and words of affirmation build self-esteem in teens who do not feel loved and valued for who they really are, who believe that they are not "good enough," or are burdened by their poor choices, negative behavior, or the unkindness of others.

Working for a higher purpose other than one's self builds self-esteem and a sense of self-worth. 

Helping and serving others:

Gives teens a sense of purpose

Cultivates empathy and compassion

Builds positive relationships

Introduces teens to others outside their peer group

Helps teens develop social skills

Reduces the risk of depression, as social isolation is a key risk factor for depression

Helps teens explore their individual interests and passions

Helps teens recognize their gifts and talents

Allows teens to be themselves and not hide behind an image

Teens begin to feel good about themselves as they work together in community to help and serve others.  It is this authentic sense of accomplishment in a meaningful endeavor that brings about self-esteem.

Encourage your teen to get involved in a service activity or volunteer program.  Some places to find service opportunities include places of worship such as churches and synagogues, youth organizations, sports teams, after-school programs, animal shelters, national and state parks, senior centers, community theaters, museums, and libraries.  Habitat for Humanity offers volunteer programs for young people, ages 5-25, as well as programs for parents and teachers.  Online databases, such as VolunteerMatch and Idealist, list many opportunities for teens and families. 

Shelterwood Leads By Example

Helping teens grow emotionally and spiritually means giving them the opportunity to serve others.

Shelterwood, a therapeutic boarding school, believes every interaction is a learning opportunity that helps teens change their behaviors from the inside out.  Every six to eight weeks, Shelterwood students and staff can choose to work together for five days in a service project -- helping build homes for the under-privileged, serving food at the local soup kitchen, folding clothes at a thrift shop, or working to clean local parks. 

Shelterwood also provides the opportunity for students to go to a foreign country and serve.  These trips make a lasting impression on the teens, helping to deepen their faith and their appreciation, love, and commitment to their families.

Teaming up with The Global Orphan Project, Shelterwood sent 20 staff and students to Haiti on a trip to restore hope and bring some happiness to children orphaned by the earthquake.  The simple act of being with these children -- playing, working, and laughing together -- was a powerful example of love in action.  The Shelterwood team also carried down clothing, shoes, and other supplies that are being distributed to orphanages throughout Haiti. 

Watch the video of Shelterwood's April 2011  trip to Haiti - Love in Action

A parent wrote to Shelterwood:  I want to thank you personally for all you have contributed to Nick's journey... not just the one to Haiti, but to his acceptance of the fact that God created him with a purpose in mind... and to his belief that it's a good one! Thank you for your support of our family on this very long and rocky road, for your prayers on our behalf, and most of all for never giving up on us as family nor on our son as a man.