A guide to realizing if

your child is at-risk, displaying 

self-destructive behaviors, and

needs your help and intervention.

Learn more how Total Transformation, an at-home program for parents, can help your troubled and struggling teen and heal your family

What are the possible causes of ADD/ADHD behavior?

Will being ADOPTED make adolescence  harder for my child?

How can I deal with the ANGER

 in our family?

Is my teen's BEHAVIOR just normal teenage rebellion?

What do parents and teachers need to know about BULLYING?

How do I find a THERAPIST for my teen?

What is EMOTIONAL ABUSE?

How can I help my OVERWEIGHT daughter?

How do I find a good OUTDOOR PROGRAM for my teen?

Help!  My teen is a RUNAWAY! 

My teen is cutting.  What do I need to know about  SELF-INJURY?

What is 'normal' teen SEXUAL BEHAVIOR and what is cause for concern?

How can I help my teen adjust to our STEPFAMILY?

What are the signs of TEEN DRINKING and SUBSTANCE ABUSE?

Social media, social networking sites, and blogs where people can create a profile, share pictures, video clips, and personal information – including MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, Xanga, and YouTube – has millions of people logging in to their accounts on a daily basis.  These sites also may incorporate instant messaging, chatrooms, discussion boards, and email.

Social networking sites are not inherently dangerous; however, the types of information teens share online may be inappropriate or put them into dangerous situations.  Most teens have “friends” on their site that they do not know as friends in real life.

There are virtually no teens that aren't using these social networking sites to connect with others and share details of their lives.  And, whether a teen’s profile or posting details are true or false, the majority of those teens are sharing information publicly that may damage reputations and relationships, hurt their future, such as getting admitted to a  college or securing a desirable job, and make them vulnerable to cyberbullies and predators.  In a pair of related studies released by Seattle Children’s Research Institute and published in the January 2009 issue of Archives of Pediatric & Adolescent Medicine, researchers found that 54 percent of adolescents frequently discuss high-risk activities online, including sexual behavior, substance abuse or violence.

WHAT CAN PARENTS DO?

The number one risk factor for teens getting into trouble or behaving inappropriately -- in real life or on the Internet -- is parental naiveté.  You can't help guide your teen into adulthood when you don't know what's going on in their lives.

Get Educated About the Internet

Stay educated about the latest technology and places teens hang out online.  The more you understand what's going on in cyberspace, the better equipped you'll be to talk with your teen about their online conversations.  Learn what's available to your teen online, such as social networking sites (including FaceBook and MySpace), message boards (such as teenspot.com and groups.yahoo.com), and helpful services (including drugfree.org).

Keep the Computer Where You Can See It

It's easier to casually keep an eye on your teen's online use when the computer is in a common area rather than a private bedroom

Web-Surfing is a Privilege

Define the rules, concerns and expectations for online activities with your teen.  Set limits on internet usage and alert them that you'll be regularly asking them to walk you through their recent online activity

Keep Checking In

Have regular conversations with your teen about what they do when they're online.  Ask to view your teen’s social networking page.  Most likely your teen will not be happy about that request, but it can’t really be considered private information when it is already online for others to see.  Discuss their screen name(s) and any sites where they regularly visit or post.  Let them know you're always available to talk. 

Explain That the Virtual World Lives On

It is becoming common for employers and colleges/ universities to research online behavior of prospects, so let your teen know that whatever they say or do online will likely have a very long virtual shelf life.

Teach Them How to Deal with Peer Pressure

Explain that just like in real life, "virtual" conversations can become uncomfortable or inappropriate.  Discuss examples of how they might respond to a conversation or posting that turns to sex, drugs, or alcohol.

Be Aware of Signs

Signs that your child could be engaging in inappropriate or dangerous behavior online include: closing a screen quickly when you walk by, becoming distressed if you remove computer privileges, constantly accessing the Internet from their cell phone, and difficulty waking up for school because of late night online activity.

Consider Monitoring or Filtering

Excellent software exists today that can monitor every key stroke and give your regular reports about virtual behavior.  Filtering programs also allow you to block teens from visiting sites that wouldn't be appropriate under any circumstances 

K9 Web Protection is a free Internet filtering software that can be used to protect younger children and pre-teens from sites that promote hate speech, violence or pornography. 

NetSmartz411 is a free online service to answer questions about Internet safety, computers, and the Web.  Parents can directly access the NetSmartz411 Library to search for answers to their questions, such as “How do I find my child’s MySpace page?” and “How do I access my child’s Facebook profile?”

Teenagers who report that their parents take a genuine interest in their activities are more likely to avoid trouble. Teens whose parents know who their friends are and what they do in their free time are less likely to get into trouble than their peers.  In the context of a warm, kind relationship, parental monitoring of teen activities comes across as caring rather than intrusive.   Parental monitoring of teen behavior inhibits not only the opportunity for delinquent activity, but negative peer pressure to be involved in such activity as well.

DID YOU KNOW?

One out of five (20 %) teens surveyed have posted nude photos or video of themselves on the Internet.  National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, 2008

69% of teens regularly receive personal messages online from people they don't know and most of them don't tell a trusted adult about it.  Teen Research Unlimited, Cox Communications Teen Internet Safety Survey, March 2007

86% of the girls polled said they could chat online without their parents' knowledge, 57% could read their parents email, and 54% could conduct a cyber relationship.  Girl Scout Research Institute, 2002

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Popular Teen Web Hangouts

These sites are not inherently dangerous; however, the types of information teens share online may be inappropriate or put them into dangerous situations.

MySpace (online friends/profile)

FaceBook (online friends/profile)

Eekline (online friends/profile)

Friendster (online friends/profile)

Hi5  (online friends/profile)

TeenSpot (online friends /profile/chat/message boards)

Twitter (online friends via phone or computer)