Stepfamilies and Co-Parenting

Helping & Supportive Resources for Stepfamilies

Rights of Children of Divorce - Help Your Teen Adjust to a Stepfamily

Coaching: Focusing on Solutions & Getting Results You Want

New stepfamilies face many challenges.  As with any achievement, developing good stepfamily relationships requires a lot of effort.  Stepfamily members have each experienced losses and face complicated adjustments to the new family situation.

The members of the new blended family need to build strong bonds among themselves through:

• acknowledging and mourning their losses

• developing new skills in making decisions as a family

• fostering and strengthening new relationships between parents, stepparent and stepchild, and stepsiblings

• supporting one another

• maintaining and nurturing original parent-child relationships

While facing these issues may be difficult, most stepfamilies do work out their problems.  Stepfamilies often use grandparents (or other family), clergy, support groups, and other community-based programs to help with the adjustments.

Parents should consider a psychiatric evaluation for their child when they exhibit strong feelings of being:

• alone dealing with the losses

• torn between two parents or two households

• excluded

• isolated by feelings of guilt and anger

• unsure about what is right

• very uncomfortable with any member of the original family or stepfamily

In addition, if parents observe that the following signs are lasting or persistent, then they should consider a psychological evaluation for the child/family:

• child vents/directs anger upon a particular family member or openly resents a stepparent or parent

• one of the parents suffers from great stress and is unable to help with the child's increased need

• a stepparent or parent openly favors one of the children

• discipline of a child is only left to the parent rather than involving both the stepparent and parent; or

• members of the family derive no enjoyment from usual pleasurable activities (i.e., learning, going to school, working, playing or being with friends and family)

Most stepfamilies, when given the necessary time to work on developing their own traditions and to form new relationships, can provide emotionally rich and  lasting relationships for the adults, and help the children develop the self-esteem and strength to enjoy the challenges of life.

Information provided by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.

NEXT:  Rights of Children of Divorce

Stepliving for Teens:  Getting Along with Step-Parents, Parents and Siblings

Helping and Supportive Resources

Bonus Families ~ International organization dedicated to promoting peaceful coexistence between divorced or separated parents and their combined families.

DividedHeart.com ~ Online Christian support community.

iStepfamily Online! ~ Online support community for blended family members to connect from all walks of life and from around the world.

National Stepfamily Resource Center ~ Clearinghouse of information, resources, and support for stepfamily members and the professionals who work with them.

Shared Parenting Information Group (UK) ~ Promotes responsible shared parenting after separation and divorce and provides information, research, and resources to all concerned.

Step-Carefully for Step-Parents ~ Offers support and information through online articles, free newsletter, resources on stepfamily issues, and marriage preparation for soon-tobe-stepfamiles.

Stepfamily Association of Victoria ~ Support, education, and resources to stepfamilies and blended families in Australia.

Stepfamily Foundation of Alberta ~ Canadian organization based in Calgary, Alberta that provides a variety of services to assist stepfamilies address and resolve the difficulties that are characteristic of the stepfamily experience.

Stepfamily Network ~ Supports and educates step-parents through online forum and articles.

Stepfamily Zone ~ Provides information and support to stepfamilies in South Australia.